A Real American
Hulk Hogan died. He was, to say the least, a unique figure in popular culture. A balding, handlebar-moustached, bemuscled hot dog of a man. Wrestler, actor, union buster, fantasist of Baron Munchausen-level proportions, racist, MAGA spokesperson and a lot more besides. He seemed to spend his later years ‘living his gimmick’, which lead to the slightly surreal conversation when deposed as his ‘real’ self, Terry Bollea, where he attempted to explain to a befuddled lawyer that Hulk Hogan had a big dick, but Terry Bollea didn’t.
To those of us in the UK who first became aware of him in the 1990s Sky Sports WWF boom, he was brash, kind of appalling, but also sort of amazing. A mass of contradictions. Someone who clearly took steroids, but told kids to say their prayers and eat their vitamins. Like a lot of fairly cunty people, he did a lot of work for charity, but talk to anyone in the business and you’ll hear tales of him screwing people over left right and centre. Perhaps it’s no surprise that he ended up as a Trumper, as his version of the USA always seemed to be a star-spangled hamburger box. He was loud, he was brash, he was strong and heroic, but nonsensical and a cheat and weirdly petty.
In short, to us at the time, the song was right. He was a real American.
Minimal effort, minimal results
Today didn’t work out as planned and I didn’t do as much writing as I had hoped - only a few pages in the notebook, writing filler scenes that need to exist, I’m just not quite sure where.
Drafting non-linearly is a change for me and for the most part I’ve found it to be a more measured, interesting approach. But I’m now reaching the point where all these little islands need to connect and I feel my bridge-building skills are sorely lacking. If the first draft of everything is shit, then this is wet and messy and all over the place.
(Sorry - that’s quite disgusting, but I’ve had to clean up after the cat twice today and it’s obviously had more of an impact than I realised.)
I’m consoling myself with the fact that, in those couple of pages, there’s a few sentences that I’m pretty pleased with. That will have to do.
Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan
Ozzy Osbourne died. Some might say it was amazing he lived as long as he did. I’m not someone who listens to a lot of rock, but in my obligatory someone died, so let’s listen to their hits session, I heard this between ‘Paranoid’ and ‘Iron Man’ and it’s much more my speed.
Rival Consoles - Soft Gradient Beckons
I haven’t really clicked with Rival Consoles latest album. It’s always a bit weird when LPs have a several tracks released before the album. Somehow, they remain ‘bitty’ in my mind. ‘Soft Gradient Beckons’ did catch on with me, though, perhaps because at it’s heart it has a repeating motif that reminded me of Alessandro Cortini’s ‘Forse’ series.
Anyway, there’s a great video for the track made by the artist/animator/printmaker Anthony Dickenson, using long rolls of paper. Video and bts linked below.
Birds Scream
Two very different pieces of music, related by an abstract thought.
(This is the Clipse Tiny Desk concert. Skip to 14:43 for ‘Birds Don’t Sing’. Squarespace doesn’t allow me to embed times YT links, which is just one of the reasons Squarespace is bad.)
And a live version of Aldous Harding’s ‘What if birds aren’t singing, they’re screaming’. Honestly, I prefer the album version, but as Clipse were live, I figured like-for-like was a good idea.
If I was any good at such things, I might try making a mashup, which shows just how old I am. Are mashups still a thing?
Reaktor Lab 20250626
I’m trying to learn how to make noises in Reaktor. I’ll post the least horrible ones here for a while.
'They' by Kay Dick / The fix-up novel
I had high hopes for this slim little novella and while it didn’t entirely live up to them, I’m still thinking about it a few days later. Set in a very English dystopia, the nameless, genderless protagonist moves between various friends of artistic bent as they resist an ill-defined but ominous presence. In this version of England’s green and pleasant lands, travel is restricted, people are disappeared and curtains are always kept close.
The ongoing sense of unease is countered by the beauty and idyl of the surroundings, making it possible to belive how the majority of the population would go along with the rise of ‘they’. It’s never described exactly who they are or what they stand for and while communication and artistic expression aren’t explicitly outlawed, there are measures in place to hinder such activities. Their mission is to create an atmosphere of oppression that is almost invisible, but which can be felt in every fibre of one’s being.
The foreword by Carmen Maria Machado uses a term I hadn’t heard before: the fix-up novel. Made up of a collection of previously published stories which share a shared world and may be connected in the very loosest sense, but are connected.
(To be clear, Machado uses the phrase to say that ‘They’ is not a fix-up novel, but the idea is interesting to me. I will say, though, that ‘They’ worked better for me as it drew to the conclusion when it felt like it was pulling in a particular direction.)
The novel was out of print for many years and has been recently re-released by Faber Editions.
Practice
I’ve been thinking about blogging more, not for exposure or for reach, but more just for practice. I’m working on a long piece of fiction at the moment and while I’m enjoying it, the monolithic nature of it’s starting to feel a little bit oppressive.
I considered opening a micro.blog account, as I quite like its combination of social features and microblogging. It’s $5 a month, though, and I know that’s not much but I’m really trying not to get any new subscriptions at the moment.
Similarly, Write.As is a nice barebones text publishing service, but I think it doesn’t quite do what I want it to. I think I’m looking for a notebook/scrapbook as well as a log of what I’m doing, seeing and reading.
Honestly, Tumblr is the only social media service I’ve ever really liked using, but I’ve never really felt a kinship with the community there. There are several artists I like that post regularly, but I’m at something of a loss as to what to post there.
Blogging with Squarespace always feels a bit janky (particularly with Firefox, which I’m using at the moment), but I’ll see how it goes.
This feed was previously known as ‘log’ and featured my daily routine of what I’ve done. That sort of fell by the wayside. I’m rebranding it as ‘notes’ and hoping that it will replace some of what I use services like Bear or Are.na for - namely collecting things that I find interesting or might want to refer to later.
2024-03-18
Well. It has been a long time since I did this. I have been doing stuff, I promise, I just haven’t logged it. I’ve also moved house, so that’s been a whole thing.
Checked the books I cased in over the weekend. Not perfect, but I’ll allow it.
Wrote 1400 words of a longish story. It’s a first draft and it’s been a little while since I sat down and wrote like this. Everything is wrong, but I’m telling myself that getting things down is the most important part. My mantra for these situations is Write your way in, then write your way out. Maybe that’s a chronically bad strategy, but it’s working for me. So far. But it’s getting to the point where all the waffling in the world can’t disguise the fact that things are starting to happen and I need to keep up.
I’m attending a course in the mornings. Not really going to talk about it here, but it’s a thing I’m doing without really knowing where this is going to go.
2024-01-12
Published details of Battlesecrets to this site and social media.
Submitted a story for publication.
Tidied up my Desktop. Sounds minor bud god my head feels clearer.
2023-12-11
Posted to Instagram, Facebook and Twitter about my little article in the latest issue of Printmaking Today.
Tried re-working digital version of the board book, hoping to get a better image quality. Whatever I tried, it didn’t work satisfactorily. I think I might go back to the janky version, which at least has character.
2023-12-02
Finished cutting board book interiors (enough for 10 copies, assuming all come out ok).
Posted details of Daniel’s Dinner to the site.
Posted exhibition details to Instagram and Twitter.
2023-11-30
Continued draft of a short story, despite it feeling pretty trite and mawkish. Mainly doing it because writing by hand feels nice.
Continued draft of a film treatment, despite it feeling pretty trite and derivative. Mainly doing it because typing words on the big screen feels nice.
I am pretty depressed about my writing at the moment, at least in terms of content. Doing it largely as a physiotherapeutic activity.
2023-11-19
Prototyped a physical story. Managed to learn a bit about virtual machines and UV editing in Blender. Also ummed and ahhed a bit about the ethics of using someone else’s life experiences in one’s own art.
Edited another physical story, changing the point of view.
Sent out newsletter. A bit later than planned and didn’t include one piece of work that I really wanted documented, but that will have to wait for the next instalment.
2023-11-02
Redrafted short story. It’s almost there, but needs some more details worked out at the end. Descriptive stuff mainly, but it needs nailing down.
Went to a… mixer, I guess?… of freelancers, creatives and writers organised by George from TYPE! Nice bunch. Wish I’d ordered some food.
2023-10-30
Went around the City of London with a camera, taking photos of buildings. I’m not expecting much from the pics, but the process of shooting with a film camera is good for the soul. Ca-chk!
Created what I’ll call a ‘first draft’ of Project Folkestone. Feedback from First Reader is positive. A few tweaks needed, but that won’t take long.
Booked a Workshowgrow crit to show Project Folkestone and discuss what I do next with it.
Went back to Stupid Book Idea after a while away. It’s OK. Whipping it into shape. Might be getting somewhere with it.
Realising that I’m not posting much to social media or submitting stories to places. Got a few more rejections though. My problem with the whole submission cycle isn’t that it’s depressing, but that it’s boring.
2023-10-27
Looked at the text for what we’ll call Project Folkestone for the time being. Not quite as ready as I thought, so beating the words into shape before starting to make it.
More emails.
Went to the Small Publisher’s Fair at Conway Hall in Red Lion Square. These things always provoke very mixed feelings, but there’s some good stuff there. It’s a packed venue and that’s sometimes a bit much. It’s on tomorrow as well if anyone wants to go and see for themselves.
2023-10-26
No entries for a few days because I’ve been on a short break to the seaside. It was restorative. Folkestone was a pleasant surprise. A lot of public art along the sea front, most of a much higher quality than you probably imagine.
While away, I had an idea that I’m keen to get going on. I could not sleep when I thought of it, but that might be the combination of a stuffy hotel room and too much pizza. I sketched out a design and wrote a first draft on my phone.
Some preliminary tests for said book today.
Email heavy day, contacting exhibition organisers and sending invoices. Sometimes admin is incredibly validating.
Looked through last redraft of short story. Some tightening needed, but it’s getting there. On to the fifth serious draft and the meaning of it’s still coming out.
Doing some costing on the board book, trying to determine the right number to make that will cover costs (including the many prototypes). Sourcing equipment is also a factor. Have been putting feelers out for access to machinery needed to make it nice. Not perfect, maybe, but nice.
Have lost my notecards and can’t put new projects up on the board. Calamity.
2023-10-20
Made another board book. This one was pretty good. Took it to a copy shop and asked if they had a girt big guillotine (see log 2023-10-16). They did and they trimmed it real nice. I now have one nice example of the book and that in itself feels like a victory. Now I need to work on replicating that process for an edition.
Got a rejection for a short story submission. This generally doesn’t bother me. It’s part of the process and I’d rather be amassing rejections than not putting work out there.
Got word that the cyanotype wood book got accepted into the exhibition. Details to follow.
Drafted notes for a workshop I’m attending tomorrow. Quietly excited about this, but staying cool as a cucumber.
Did another draft of story. Have not shown it to #1 reader yet. Think it needs another pass.
Watched Ellen Lupton’s speech at the St Bride Foundation. Her Working With Type book was much pored over by younger Tom. Haven’t looked at it in a while. There’s a new edition coming out next year, updated to include new technologies and whatnot. Interesting to hear how the terms widows and orphans are now considered… not offensive, exactly, but passé. A similar thing happened in music technology, where someone pointed out calling things ‘master’ and ‘slave’ wasn’t cool. Language evolves. I do like a bit of jargon, though - the more obtuse the better. Typography’s good for that and I hope it doesn’t all die out.