Multi-part, assorted colour card, 2023

Overview

A kit for opening up your inner vision.

Contents

1 x Third eye chart

1 x Covering for first and second eyes

4 x Corrective lens paddles

2 x Lens clips

1 x Instruction leaflet

Background

I’ve been trying to buy new glasses for at least two years now. My current ones have the unfortunate habit of falling apart at inconvenient times. Apart from that, I like them. They’re light and they help me see. 

That said, sometimes it’s difficult for me to read the train indicators on the Victoria Line and this told me that I should get my eyes checked. I went to the opticians and they told me that my eyes were exactly the same as when I last had them checked. When I asked about the problems seeing train times, they told me that was just being old and I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Huh.

Anyway, that led to this - an at-home testing kit for measuring the visual acuity of your third eye. It takes its cues from the equipment used to measure your other eyes and was originally going to be just an eye chart. Obviously, people would be able to see the symbols unless they were blocked out, so some sort of blindfold would be needed. Originally this was going to be a strip of cloth, but then I remembered the Peril-Sensitive Glasses that were packaged in with the text adventure adaptation of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (see here for a gallery of all the ‘feelies’ bundled with that and other Infocom games). I made my own version, but used some jazzy metallic card I had in the drawer. That would have been enough, but I always find an eye test isn’t an eye test without an optician holding lenses in front of my eyes and asking if it’s better “with…? or without…? with…? or without…?” and me saying things like “I’m not sure… maybe… with? …a bit?”. I really wanted people to be able to replicate that experience in their at-home tests, so created the little paddles that they could hold up in front of their foreheads.

But once they were done, I remembered that another great part about going to the opticians was wearing those incredible Frankenglasses with the lenses dropped in. Again, I wanted people to have some part of that with their Third Eye Tests, so set about fashioning some customised connectors that would allow people to attach the lens paddles to the coverings for their regular, ordinary eyes. I did not just buy a box of paperclips. No.

Anyway, the small idea ended up being 8 separate pieces (including the little explanatory leaflet that I was really in two minds about making and a little fold of card to stop the lens clips digging in to the main chart). Five of these elements required the use of the cutting machine, which is a slow process, meaning the simple little idea to knock out in an afternoon took a bit longer to put together.  Still, once you embark on these things, you have to see them through.

Classifying stuff like this is kind of weird. Although it does have printed pages, it’s not a book. It’s not a wearable, although an element of it is worn. I guess it’s just a thing.